Alas - It's Sunny!

And I'm going outside in about 9.5 minutes. AH and I are going to take a walk.

Last night, we (AH, myself, and two of my female coworkers) went salsa dancing at a place in Capitol Hill and had a fabulous time. As much as I know I love to dance, sometimes I forget just HOW MUCH I love it. I mean, I LOVE IT. I LOVE it, love it. Can't-say-it-enough-about-it kind of love. Like when you love someone so much that he or she is ALL you think about after you see them. Or the kind of love that has you so pumped up and excited and filled with adrenaline that you finally feel like you really know how it feels to be insanely happy and content with life. That's how I feel about dancing. And I have to admit that I'm kind of an idiot because I always KNOW that this is how I feel about dancing - like I intellectually understand how much I love it, but I forget the way it makes me FEEL. It makes me feel alive and in control and insatiably hungry for more. And I think that's the measure we should use when we are trying to more fully understand ourselves and our passions and what circumstances in life we really want to pursue. What makes you feel like you can do anything? What washes away your inhibitions and makes you feel like a more complete version of yourself? For me, it's dancing. Singing, too, but a lot of that particular passion (for me) has already been fulfilled. Dancing, well, dancing hasn't been fulfilled. In a lot of ways, it seems like my dancing phase of life hasn't really even started. Dancing has been untouchable for me for a very long time. I"ll explain: Implicitly, dancing may mean freedom and life and expression and satisfaction to me, but it also means money and time and practice, all of which scare me A LOT. I'm sure this is due to past experience (like most developed beliefs are) and it's something I'm actively working on in my life. In fact, I'm working on it so much so that I'm planning another salsa night for Thursday!

Last night was especially important to my ego and dancing esteem because I haven't really practiced salsa in a while (and I mean REALLY practiced with a lead who is incredibly skilled both naturally and technically) and I happen to find a partner (let's call him DS) who brought out my potential in an easy, gentle, fun way. I believe his background is Latin American and he learned salsa from a freestyle perspective which means that he dances to the beat of the music instead of practicing formal steps and combos. So, our first dance together was based on our chemistry, our bodies, and our rhythms - he spun me, then himself, there was little talking, there was little teaching, we just felt the music and danced. The second dance was more instructory in nature - while we danced, he did some combos that I couldn't follow very well, and so he went slowly and showed me each individual step and how it is integrated into the whole move. Finally, he asked if I would like to learn what is (I think) some form of salsa styling where a couple does the same moves in parallel, almost like doing an individual salsa dance side-by-side. He said I have the grace and stylization to perform really well at this type of dance (which is a serious ego boost coming from, as I gradually discovered, a really good-looking, well-meaning, award-winning, Latin-American-born salsa dancer). SO, we went to one of the mirrors in the studio and he began to teach me this particular "art" of salsa styling.

We danced that way for at least a half hour and I really started to understand the concepts he was trying to convey, not to mention that I started to realize he's REALLY GOOD. And I mean, REALLY GOOD. Amazing. A good teacher, too. We were having a great time and he was so encouraging that it had me thinking that the small act of discovering someone's potential can be incredibly influential, especially during critical moments. If I hadn't felt supported and wasn't praised, then I would have felt deflated and probably would have been unlikely to continue my dancing relationship with this gentlemen - or even continue doing salsa styling in general! Now that he understands my skill, can seek out what he needs (dancing-wise) from me, and knows that I am able to improve, I could easily find myself knee-deep in a salsa relationship! Woohoo! Man, who knew this could come from a reluctancy to drag myself to practice last night? In any case, I was high as a kite last night after dancing and smiling and sweating - I had such a fantastic time!

Real quick: In speaking about potential, I think this is what initally drew me to the company I work for right now - the fact that they could see through my hurt and my pain (from grad school), and they invited me inside based on what they trusted I could become. And look where it got me! I DID BECOME that person - the person I was before who loved to laugh and talk and meet others and have deep conversations! The positive girl who saw the best in others, knew she could rise to great heights, believed in good people and karma. Likewise, when it comes to dating, I feel like I've always been the person who could see such wonderful potential in her partner, but didn't feel supported the same way in return. With JH, that has all changed. He not only sees me and knows me for me, but he also sees my potential and beyond. That has more value to me than looks and money and ambition combined. When we see potential in others (instead of fear or threat or domination - mostly, perhaps, projection from our own views), we open up a whole world of possibility. So when JH told me (in jest) that he could show me the world, well, he wasn't kidding. :)