Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Alas - It's Sunny!

And I'm going outside in about 9.5 minutes. AH and I are going to take a walk.

Last night, we (AH, myself, and two of my female coworkers) went salsa dancing at a place in Capitol Hill and had a fabulous time. As much as I know I love to dance, sometimes I forget just HOW MUCH I love it. I mean, I LOVE IT. I LOVE it, love it. Can't-say-it-enough-about-it kind of love. Like when you love someone so much that he or she is ALL you think about after you see them. Or the kind of love that has you so pumped up and excited and filled with adrenaline that you finally feel like you really know how it feels to be insanely happy and content with life. That's how I feel about dancing. And I have to admit that I'm kind of an idiot because I always KNOW that this is how I feel about dancing - like I intellectually understand how much I love it, but I forget the way it makes me FEEL. It makes me feel alive and in control and insatiably hungry for more. And I think that's the measure we should use when we are trying to more fully understand ourselves and our passions and what circumstances in life we really want to pursue. What makes you feel like you can do anything? What washes away your inhibitions and makes you feel like a more complete version of yourself? For me, it's dancing. Singing, too, but a lot of that particular passion (for me) has already been fulfilled. Dancing, well, dancing hasn't been fulfilled. In a lot of ways, it seems like my dancing phase of life hasn't really even started. Dancing has been untouchable for me for a very long time. I"ll explain: Implicitly, dancing may mean freedom and life and expression and satisfaction to me, but it also means money and time and practice, all of which scare me A LOT. I'm sure this is due to past experience (like most developed beliefs are) and it's something I'm actively working on in my life. In fact, I'm working on it so much so that I'm planning another salsa night for Thursday!

Last night was especially important to my ego and dancing esteem because I haven't really practiced salsa in a while (and I mean REALLY practiced with a lead who is incredibly skilled both naturally and technically) and I happen to find a partner (let's call him DS) who brought out my potential in an easy, gentle, fun way. I believe his background is Latin American and he learned salsa from a freestyle perspective which means that he dances to the beat of the music instead of practicing formal steps and combos. So, our first dance together was based on our chemistry, our bodies, and our rhythms - he spun me, then himself, there was little talking, there was little teaching, we just felt the music and danced. The second dance was more instructory in nature - while we danced, he did some combos that I couldn't follow very well, and so he went slowly and showed me each individual step and how it is integrated into the whole move. Finally, he asked if I would like to learn what is (I think) some form of salsa styling where a couple does the same moves in parallel, almost like doing an individual salsa dance side-by-side. He said I have the grace and stylization to perform really well at this type of dance (which is a serious ego boost coming from, as I gradually discovered, a really good-looking, well-meaning, award-winning, Latin-American-born salsa dancer). SO, we went to one of the mirrors in the studio and he began to teach me this particular "art" of salsa styling.

We danced that way for at least a half hour and I really started to understand the concepts he was trying to convey, not to mention that I started to realize he's REALLY GOOD. And I mean, REALLY GOOD. Amazing. A good teacher, too. We were having a great time and he was so encouraging that it had me thinking that the small act of discovering someone's potential can be incredibly influential, especially during critical moments. If I hadn't felt supported and wasn't praised, then I would have felt deflated and probably would have been unlikely to continue my dancing relationship with this gentlemen - or even continue doing salsa styling in general! Now that he understands my skill, can seek out what he needs (dancing-wise) from me, and knows that I am able to improve, I could easily find myself knee-deep in a salsa relationship! Woohoo! Man, who knew this could come from a reluctancy to drag myself to practice last night? In any case, I was high as a kite last night after dancing and smiling and sweating - I had such a fantastic time!

Real quick: In speaking about potential, I think this is what initally drew me to the company I work for right now - the fact that they could see through my hurt and my pain (from grad school), and they invited me inside based on what they trusted I could become. And look where it got me! I DID BECOME that person - the person I was before who loved to laugh and talk and meet others and have deep conversations! The positive girl who saw the best in others, knew she could rise to great heights, believed in good people and karma. Likewise, when it comes to dating, I feel like I've always been the person who could see such wonderful potential in her partner, but didn't feel supported the same way in return. With JH, that has all changed. He not only sees me and knows me for me, but he also sees my potential and beyond. That has more value to me than looks and money and ambition combined. When we see potential in others (instead of fear or threat or domination - mostly, perhaps, projection from our own views), we open up a whole world of possibility. So when JH told me (in jest) that he could show me the world, well, he wasn't kidding. :)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Mmmmmm.

Tea. Vanilla Caramel black tea. Mmmmm.

It's dreary today and it will probably continue to be this way for the next 9 months. That's cool. I'll be traveling the country and it won't matter too much to me.

I've been interviewing potential roommates and we're almost done with the rankings. We have yet to see (pseudonyms) Greenlake and Spark who are both legitimate possibilities. So far, the list is as follows:

1) California: A sweet, bubbly girl who is moving up here from CA to fill a position in the downtown Seattle area. She's inquisitive, outgoing, enthusiastic, and polite. Based on first impressions and intuitions alone, she'd make a great roommate as well as a great friend. Hesitations: None - I want her to live here 100%. Advantages: She'd be a great addition to my Seattle friend network. Even if she doesn't live here, I want to hang out with her!

2) Landlord: A quiet, young girl who has 2 years of college left, but is already a landlord by renting out the basement to her parents' Seattle home. They're selling, so she's moving. She seems responsible, dependable, and trustworthy - a good roommate with not a lot of potential for long term friendship. Hesitations: She's fairly young and she seems very quiet. Advantages: She'd always pay rent on time, she's most likely as good as her word, and intuitively speaking, I'm sure I can trust her.

3) Camper: A friendly, extroverted girl who is also moving up from CA to pursue a career as a hairstylist. She was comfortable and remained as such throughout the hour (!) she was here. She seems compatible with my style and my energy level as well. Hesitations: She's religious and although that might mean nothing, she may prove to be judgmental and passive aggressive when angry or provoked. Her body language changed at times when we discussed money and there was a tension in the air for a few minutes afterwards. She's also an investment considering her move is from a distance. Advantages: She seems to be a good fit for me on a surface level as we had much to discuss and she was very socially skilled.

4) Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum: Two girls from Seattle who claim to be hairstylists, but look to have lived on the streets for a few months (probably not true, and YES, I'm being judgmental). In fact, I saw one of them with her "street gang" (I'm serious) when I was walking back from the bar in Capitol Hill on Friday night. JH and I were arm-in-arm and I believe she thought I had just met him based on the fact that she yelled to me (quiet condescendingly after a nice exchange, I thought), "Have a gooooood night ---" It seemed inappropriate, but then again, I was drunk, so it could have had the nicest connotations (sarcasm). The other girl she was with (when they came to view the apartment) was sweet, but almost too much so. It was pretty obvious to me that they both aren't overly affirmative and it was clear (even to those who DON'T have a cultivated sense of smell) that they both are heavy smokers. Needless to say, my better judgment says this won't be a good fit.

Tonight, I'm watching the Packer game and eating steak!

Friday, September 19, 2008

My Hair is Longer, My Boobs are Bigger, and My Spirits are Down.

I just happen to glance at the photo I have up on this blog (to the right of this post) and I got thinking about when that picture was taken. It was captured in Geneva, Switzerland in June 2007 while waiting for dinner to be served (best dinner I ever had). Now, my hair is definitely longer (15 months of growing will do that to you), my boobs are probably smaller since I lost weight on the road last year, and my spirit is not down permanently, but it's dragging right now. I need something to do with my time. I'm like a black hole -- sucking in everything in my path and leaving a cold, damp wake. Speaking of wake (and cold/damp), JH and I are supposed to go jetskiing this afternoon, but it's about 60 degrees outside and fairly chilly. Humph. This irritability thing is really starting to become perpetual. I think it's time to structure my days so that I'm not caught up in my mood. I need something else to focus on, something with purpose, something I need to be driven for, something I can feel invested in. I should start to dance. I want to take class, but my goal was to spend as little money as possible this month. I think I'm doing a good job. Plus, I really am taking a dance class - salsa.

In fact, we had our second class last night and I feel like I want more of a challenge. Naturally, since I've taken one higher level class and danced with people of higher skill, I've come to understand the beat of the music and how to follow. In my Level 1 class, I'm practically leading my leaders because they don't really know what they're doing. SO, in effect, I become bored. I suppose I'm learning and getting better, too, but I just want to dance and be sweaty and be spun around 12 times and get really hot and winded! Know what I'm saying? I want to feel the beat and screw up and have fun and enjoy my partner and get really "into" it! It's been awhile since I've done that with any type of dancing!

In other news, we're interviewing roommate candidates today and Sunday. It's been interesting - we have about 7 girls interested and 2 rooms to fill. I think we'll be able to commit to someone by Monday. Stay tuned to figure out who my new roomies will be...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Time to Document Free Shit.

I'm telling ya, I get free stuff all the time. Like I said, it's my MO. So, in an effort to document it so I can look back and be amazed, I'm going to blog all the items I get for no cost.

Place: Taste of India in Seattle
Free Shit: A veggie appetizer plate and mango cheesecake dessert.
Approximate Value: $20.00
Reason: I was giving "the eyes" to one of the men on staff. (Perhaps the owner?) We (four beautiful women) also showed a lot of boob and eye makeup.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Only the Strong Survive.

Exercise is a weird thing. When you're really into it, doing it every day, you get so addicted to it that you can't imagine your life without it. But when you lapse for a few weeks (or months), it takes A LOT to get yourself to a place where you feel motivated enough to get started again. At least, this is how exercise works for me. I get so involved in it, become so in love with it, but when I stop doing it (due to an injury, this time), then I get lazy and bored and angry for losing it because it takes so much more effort to begin again. Get what I'm saying?

I'm at home right now and one of my beautiful roommates is dancing around the living room like a princess ballerina to "on hold" music (she's trying to activate her new cell phone) and the other roommate is reading/eating - she is so engaged in her book ("The Game" which I finished and passed on) that it takes the bite of food about 30 seconds to move from the bowl to her mouth.

Time to finish figuring out what to do tonight - the weather's gorgeous and I wanna play!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

I Have WAY Too Much Time on My Hands

And I'm getting lazy. And I'm feeling icky. And I'm generally tired all the time from getting too much sleep. I'm serious.

I woke up this morning as the result of a phone call - my cell phone was blaring noisily and I clambered out of JH's bed, blind as a bat, to feel around for my purse and retrieve the damn device. I recognized the area code as California (Sacramento, to be exact) and answered, thinking that KR was playing an evil trick on me or something. A woman's voice responded to my "Hello?"

"Hi, is Kelly Anne available?"

"This is."

"Hi Kelly, I'm calling on behalf of the California State Fair. You are a qualifier for the drawing you entered and I just want to confirm your information..."

REALLY?

I told you - this MO of my (getting free shit) is really starting to amaze me. Whoa. I rock!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Seattle Weather Holds Me Hostage

I am definitely at its mercy. I don't wish this warm, sunny, gorgeous weather away, but I do wish it would be interspersed with some rain because I find it difficult to be indoors when the sun is practically reaching towards me, through the window, holding out its golden hand, and pleading, "Come out and play, Kelly!" It's doing that right now, so don't expect this post to be particularly lengthy. I can rarely resist the sun. On the other hand, what am I talking about? I should be thanking the weather gods this very instant for giving me shiny, happy days on which to be unemployed.

Unemployment! O how grateful I am to she who bid me farewell so I could take this path which grants me two splendid months to graze and play and delight in my own company! Really, it is all rather divine!

Thus far today, I have made a fair amount of progress on my to-do list, meaning that I have slowly but surely motored through my priorities (a difficult task judging by the fact that I have no time line, no commitments, just free, wide open spaces and days...) and tackled some financial insurance issues that make me want to barf. Ah well, all's in a day's work and I suppose that we don't learn exactly how to do these things (read: dispute insurance claims) until we are forced into doing them. Becoming an adult is so very pleasant.

Last night, JH and I had our first salsa lesson. I must say that I was mighty disappointed in the quality of the lesson, but I believe this is tied to the fact that we are enrolled in a Level 1, non-couples class, so not only are we learning moves that are much more basic than I anticipated, but also, we are rotating partners, so I am unable to guide JH during the steps. I think I'm going to request stagnation next class and just stay with him. He's got a lot of potential and it's so much easier to make mistakes when you're comfortable with your partner. Plus, it was tiring having to meet a new lead every two minutes (or less) - we both agreed that it was speed dating at its very fastest.

"Hi, I'm Kelly, nice to meet you." {Dance, step on toes, dance.} "You're getting the hang of it."

"Hi, I'm Kelly, nice to meet you. Ready?" {Dance, awkward spin, dance.} "Thanks for the dance, see ya."

"Hi, I'm Kelly, nice to meet you." {Dance, weird shuffle, dance.} "We're not professionals yet, right?"

"Hi, I'm Kelly, nice to meet you." {Dance, hesistant glance at each other, dance.} "This is awfully quick to rotate partners, isn't it?"

"Hi, I'm Kelly, nice to meet you." {Dance, nervous laugh, dance.} "Seems to me you've got it down."

...You get the point. I met about 20 different men in about 40 minutes. Not only was I sweaty and hot and frustrated with the turtle's pace of the class, I missed my orignal partner! In any case, I want to go salsa tonight and make up for the fact that I didn't get to practice my moves! I must note that being a follower (typically a woman) is much easier than being a lead (typically a man). Leads have to know the moves, plan ahead based on what moves they want to perform next, and then understand how to softly guide their partner into the move they want to execute. Being a dancer before, I can read the cues and *usually* allow my partner to suggest me into them. (Sometimes, I unintentionally take over and hijack the lead. Imagine that.)

Now, I'm getting much to antsy for my own good, so I'm going to head outside or eat lunch or engage in something productive like reading my book about how to seduce women.

And Dad, I totally agree with your comment and will be wearing my Packers shirt and hat to the Seahawks game - especially because JH and I are going early to catch some of the GB/Detroit game (on JumboTron) at Quest field. I think it's only fair to let people know where my loyalties lie. Although, I WILL have a Seahawks shirt underneath just in case I should get beat down (verbally, perhaps by the H family?) - I can't risk losing my boyfriend on account of the Packers! ...Or can I? (Answer: Yes, I can and I will. Packers trump significant others.)

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

"Nice Mangoes"

Said the cashier at the QFC grocery store. Funny thing is, although I was wearing a tank that was definitely on the skimpy side, I DID, in fact, have 2 mangoes in my hands. He was correct in both rites (he was clearly checking me out as well as checking me out monetarily speaking), but when he realized what he said, he turned a nice shade of crimson and apologized for being inappropriate. Ha - I laughed for a good block and a half about that!

I finished a really amazing book today. It took me a while to read because I didn't want it to end. Kind of like a Harry Potter, but with less urgency to complete. I definitely recommend it - it's called "I Capture the Castle" by Dodie Smith and it's a lovely story about a teenage girl who is keeping a journal in order to hone her writing skills. The novel is both captivating and melancholy, both insightful and humane. Quite a brilliant book, if I do say so myself!

My next read is called "The Game" by Neil Strauss and it's about the underground world of pickup artistry and dating. I also have a book on hold at the library by Mystery that is called "How to Get Beautiful Women into Bed." I'm hoping this will help me understand the universe of men and women and dating and relationships. (And perhaps, it will aid in my new book idea - "Playing the Players: A Women's Guide to Dating Defense.") This is one topic that JH and I LOVE to discuss and I figure I can never know too much about the difference and similarities between the two sexes.

In other news, it's apparent to me that I am beginning to act and look like a native around these parts. People (in two seperate instances) have asked me for directions because they thought I "looked like a local." How's that for Seattlelite tendencies? I guess when you're comfortable in your surroundings, have good directional sense, and have built a community of friends in the area, you start to eminate nativeness. Cool!

I was telling JH that I wish all my good friends were in the same damn city. I mean, seriously. Every time I make a special connection with someone (and I'm not talking "How to Get Beautiful Women into Bed"), they leave! Argh! (Or, I leave. That was JH's solution - "Well, then stop moving!" Hmm...seems like selfish advice to me, doesn't it?) In any case, I have great friends spread across the nation, which, with the traveling job I have, comes in handy...but I won't have this job forever! Seattle is really fun - I promise! :) I'm telling ya - KR just moved to Sacramento, AB just moved to DC. Well, I guess that's what happens when you have really amazing, really intelligent friends. They do what you did and move for more and different opportunities. Smart girls!

Last night, JH and I went to a "function" where we looked at some condos in downtown Bellevue. It was an event sponsored by one of his good friend's company and therefore, we mostly went to support, but there was also other motives (read: incredible catered food). The units were beautiful in decoration and style - but I have to admit that viewing new condos with my new boyfriend was a bit jarring. Especially since it has taken me a full 6 weeks of exclusive dating to be 50% comfortable calling him my bf (note that it has taken a total of 17 weeks including both exculsive and non-exclusive dating to get to this point - I was curious, so I counted weeks yesterday). I *think* I'm "there" (as in - I can think of JH and bf as one THING) as it came pretty naturally last night. Oh, and the word "girlfriend" just ROLLS off JH's tongue like he's been saying it for years. Not for this girl, it doesn't. (And usually, my name follows a good 30 seconds after the introduction. "This is my girlfriend.........(pause).........(handshake)..........(pause).........Kelly." Ha. "Nice to meet you, glad you have a name." Double ha.) Additionally, I happen to get another freebie last night (you know, it's my MO to get free stuff) in the form of a 12-month subscription to "425 Magazine" which is the magazine for Bellevue and the surrounding Eastside neighborhoods. Lucky me! JH loves Bellevue (his hometown) and wishes for me to do the same; therefore, I think it was rigged. (Not really, I just like to say that.)

Aside from all this, I've been enjoying my days off and keeping myself busy. Next on the list? Figure out my finances! Invest, pay off some outstanding debt, establish my financial priorities, and determine where my money will be going this next working year. Sounds like fun! (I mean that, for reals.)

I'm also going to the Seahawks game on Sunday with JH and his parents, which should prove to be a good time. Perhaps I'm in for a bit of awkwardness (only on my part, really), but I'm prepared. It's not like I haven't spent time with them before, it's just that this will be the first time I'll see them after dating JH officially AND mingling with them at a company event. It's definitely going to take time getting past the whole "spending my free time at a football game with my boss and his wife" thing. You know, not everyone gets a chance to do that! As JH said, when he becomes JH's dad instead of my boss, we'll have really turned a corner. And I agree.

Now, I'm off to get groceries with a friend and make mini pizzas while watching "America's Next Top Model!" :)

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Sunny Seattle

It's beautiful outside. Seattle summer (well...not exactly anymore as it's after Labor Day) is unparalleled when it's sunny outside. No humidity, only true warmth from the sun; rare stillness, usually a sweeping western ocean breeze. It's quite a delight to relish these days, and maybe even more so because they happen so seldom.

In any case, I've been doing nothing for about a week now and I'm enjoying it IMMENSELY. Sleeping, reading, walking, hanging, eating, running, chatting. That's really all of which my life is comprised at the moment and the success of my relaxation is immeasurable.

JH started grad school last week and it sure does bring up memories for me. He's in a program that runs from 9am to 4pm and I can't decide if his schooling reminds me more of elementary school (somehow, the month of September always reminds me of piling on the bus as an 8-year-old) or of grad school (in which case, my upchuck reflexes are on red alert). Fortunately, he has been an instrumental part of changing Seattle's associations in my mind - this summer was so terrific that my memories of this city as a complete mistake are almost completely repressed! And now, for only $99.95, you too can have your memories obliterated. Just click on THIS LINK and it can be yours!

Peace out peeps.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Over & Done

The family has met the significant other. We can breath again.

Even though that wasn't the most important part of the week/end (nor was it the most fun part), it was the part that had me the most nervous. The worst is over.

Now, I get a whole month off from the madness. (Work starts Tuesday, October 7th.)

Lucky me!