Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I Should Have Been Born in the 70's...

I am so attracted to everything from that era...fashion-wise, I mean.

I intended on posting something eloquent about my propensity for all things 70's and I wanted to descend into a diatribe that explained the desire to grow out my armpit hair (it's already 1/4 of an inch long!), but I can't focus on such things because I just listened to an EXTREMELY IGNORANT GENTLEMAN speak about how he's "all for a black president," but can't seem to get past his name, "Barack Hussein Obama"....WHAT THE FUCK? ARE YOU SERIOUS? I AM SO FUMING RIGHT NOW THAT I'VE GOT TO WRITE IN CAPS. WHO IS LIVING IN THIS WORLD? IT'S PEOPLE LIKE THIS WHO MAKE ME SO GODDAMN ASHAMED TO LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. YES, I SAID IT. I AM ASHAMED TO LIVE HERE WHEN I HEAR AFOREMENTIONED STATEMENTS. THIS IS THE RESULT OF POOR OR NO EDUCATION. I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT.

LOOK AT THE FACTS, PEOPLE! I DIDN'T WANT TO BLATANTLY SUPPORT A CANDIDATE ON MY BLOG (SINCE I KNOW SOME OF YOU ARE AVID SUPPORTERS OF THE OPPOSITE PARTY), BUT I THINK IT'S TIME TO BE PUBLIC WITH MY VIEWPOINT. JOHN MCCAIN IS FLOUNDERING NOT ONLY BECAUSE HE SUPPORTS A PARTY THAT HAS FAILED THIS NATION FOR THE PAST 8 YEARS (AND BEYOND), BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE HAS LOWERED HIMSELF TO SPEAK ABOUT PERSONAL ISSUES AND NOT POLICIES. I AM ONE OF THE FIRST TO ACKNOWLEDGE HIS EXPERIENCE IN FOREIGN POLICY. I LIKED HIM BACK WHEN HE ACTUALLY WAS A MAVERICK BETWEEN PARTIES. I THINK HE'S A STAND UP GUY WHEN HE'S NOT PREACHING ABOUT "HUSSEIN" AND "TERRORIST" AND FALLACIES ABOUT "TAXES" IN FRONT OF AMERICA.

STOP WATCHING FOX NEWS (A STATION THAT *ALMOST* EVERYONE KNOWS IS TOTALLY AND CONSERVATIVELY BIASED!!!!!!) AND EXTEND YOUR KNOWLEDGE TO RECEIVE ALL OF THE FACTS....NOT JUST THE ONES THAT SUPPORT WHAT YOU ALREADY BELIEVE!!!!!!!!!

I'LL RESPECT YOUR VIEWPOINT IF YOU GATHER INFORMATION FROM ALL SIDES.

This is bullshit. I'm moving FAR FAR AWAY or I'm committing suicide if Obama doesn't win. I don't think I'm alone in this endeavor. It's time for a FUCKING CHANGE. I'm sick and tired of living in a place where a woman's right to chose is constantly in jeopardy or where homosexual men and women can't get the benefits that they deserve or where the entire middle class is suffering because we're in a fucking WAR and someone has decided that's the best way to spend our national monies (or not, since most of the money isn't even ours - it's borrowed from 10 other nations). All of these issues have consequences that clearly were not factored into the larger picture and we're all victims of poor foresight. But it was our choice and, hopefully, we'll do something about it.

It's a FEAR vs. HOPE election, folks. McCain vs. Obama, respectively. Choose what you will, but don't come crying to me if McCain's elected and the nation burst further into flames. Don't come crying to me because I'll already be dead.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Wow, I'm So Insightful...

...and also so drunk. Well, not REALLY drunk, just "2 glasses of wine" drunk and lovin' it.

I'm in Chicago North (Elk Grove, specifically) and I'm with a presenter whom I AM IN LOVE WITH. I LOVE HER. NO JOKE. IN LOVE WITH HER. Not "love" as in "I'm drunk and love you because I'm high on life and wine and good dinner conversation" kind of love, but "love" as in "I think we're food soul mates and lifelong friends and true humor and talk all night and mesh in ways that could never be seen on the surface and I fucking love you" kind of love. Seriously.

Our dinner was 3.5 hours long. If that tells you anything.

I came from a weekend in San Deigo and I'm moving there. I love it. I fucking love it. In this case, the cuss word "fucking" is just a word I'm using to express my very strong love for something. It should not be taken with offense. (Sorry in advance, Grandma.)

I have so many stories! Too many to tell in one post.

My "free" total has clearly risen above and beyond $1,000. More information to come.

I'm going to Seattle this weekend to see my lovah! (Finally.)

I gotta get to bed, but instead, I'm taking the liberty to take myself out. Nice!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Back to Basics

I'm back on the road, back doing my duties as a responsible traveler and professional, back to working out hard and eating well, back to conducting my social life on the phone. And although there are many repeats of my last season on the road and so many feelings that are recognizable from last year, there are a few new aspects to this year that (I'm sure) will keep it interesting. (Long pause to reflect on last sentence) Such as having a boyfriend (yes, it's official and has been so for months now). Such as having so much free time during the day that I could write a book (no, I'm not planning on writing one, so don't ask...I have other projects I'm interested in like discussing politics with every human being who happens to strike up a conversation with me). Such as dealing with an entirely different group of people with different dynamics. Such as being labeled as a "returner" instead of a "newbie." Such as having hotel status right off the bat.

Now, I just have to find a way to jazz things up a bit while trying to shake the minor sadness that comes with not being able to spend time with JH. (I'm serious.) The question I've been asking myself lately: Why is it so much more difficult to be away from one's significant other than friends and family? I mean, I know we're raised to leave our familes - that's part of growing up and gaining independence as an adult. And I guess friends don't radically change the way that we live our lives because friends most likely will be there upon our return. But partners are different. They alter our awareness of ourselves in that we realize they could be temporary. Are we worth it? They don't have to stick around. They have control of their situations...but not of ours. So I guess the natural reaction to that is to spend as much time with them as possible. Who knows how long it will last, right?

Here was my schedule for the past week:
Raleigh, NC
Nashville, TN
St. Louis, MO
Houston, TX
Baton Rouge, LA

And next week:
Savannah, GA
Macon, GA
Atlanta, GA
Denver, CO
Reno, NV

And finally, my free stuff update:

Small piece of banana bread from a cafe in St. Louis
Estimated worth: $2.00

Chicken caesar salad and tortilla soup lunch from hotel restaurant in Baton Rouge
Estimated worth: $15.00

Cheers to having the gift of getting free shit!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

It's a New Year!

Happy Rosh Hashanah! (The Jewish New Year was September 29th this year!) Not only that, but I've started my second season as a professional traveler. We're in the middle of training week and it's been fabulous -- the new program managers (there are 14 of 16 whom I don't know) are really great people. Though, I must say that with 2 roommates moving out and 3 roommates moving in (yes, I'm sharing my ROOM), it's been a whirlwind of change and rearrangement and adjustment and flexibility. I haven't shared my room since sophomore year of college -- it's about 5 years! Whew. 

Okay, I have stories, but we're going to watch ANTM (America's Next Top Model) and I CAN'T MISS IT. 

Friday, October 3, 2008

I've Emerged.

Yep, I cried and now I'm out from under the bus. I know people were alarmed by my melodramatic tale of gloom and doom and change, but I'm really okay. I just felt lost and upset and I couldn't quite place my feelings of unrest.

In other news, this week has been busy. I've been getting up early (shocker, I know!) and starting my days with a bang (!) in order to be productive and get used to a regular schedule again. I'll definitely need the regularity.

On Wednesday night, I went to a Gavin DeGraw concert at the Showbox with JH and some friends. It was a fun night altogether, but I happen to wear some new boots that made my feet hurt a bit, so I suppose it could have been better. Gavin performed in typical fashion: Sexy, sultry, innocent, passionate. When asked, I told JH that I would pay $50 at most to have sex with Gavin. No more, though. Not even $50 and a penny. He's gotten cockier over the years which is a turnoff for me; at the last concert I saw (with my bro!), he seemed sweeter, not as corrupted by fame, a bit more down-to-earth. That stuff matters, you know.

I got up early on Thursday morning (I'm talking before 6am here...) to go to Yakima (wine country!) with AH and her parents. My new roommate (KB) and her gf attended as well, and we road tripped it to pick grapes for AH's dad's batch of 2008 homemade wine. We had a great time snipping and clipping and gossiping away! I became the so-called "mascot" after my lovely friends began to get their laughs by throwing smashed grapes at my white tee shirt. I didn't realize I would be a target for their fun! We finished up picking within a few hours, had "dinch" (the hybrid of lunch and dinner), and drove back to Seattle just in time to make it to salsa class where JH and I tore up the floor. He's getting really good! Now, I just need to invest in some salsa music so I can practice...

Last night, we watched the vice presidential debates (which were interesting) and had a long conversation about all of the changes that are happening in our lives right now (people getting married, people having kids, people finding jobs, people finding themselves). I'm learning that I can really depend on JH for so many things and most of all, for constant support as a really close friend. He's so great! It's nice to be on the same page with someone you care about and respect; you feel like you're not alone in the game of life. Know what I mean? I guess I feel that way about some of my friends, too, and it's really reassuring to realize that there's always someone who's got my back.

This morning, I came home to meet with a potential roommate and I LOVE HER. She is amazingly terrific and I want her to live here. She'd be great and I think the apartment dynamics would be really relaxed and easy-going. Though it's weird to think that I'm leaving in a little over a week's time and I'll essentially be gone for 8 months. I know it's the same as last year, but it's really not...it's oh-so-different.

Tonight, I'm going on a double date (me, JH, KB, CJ) for dinner and a laser show, perhaps? I can guarantee there will be mighty interesting conversation! Jealous? I know you are!

My life is cool. (Confirmed by the fact that I have just started to research how many men the women on "Sex and the City" sleep with throughout the series. I'm on season 2 and we're already in double digits for some. I'll keep you in the know.)

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Holy Moly.

It's October. And I'm alone. And I'm feeling abandoned. And I sure hope I'm PMSing because the feelings I'm having are ruining my last few days in Seattle before I start traveling. Sure, my childhood friend KB flies in this afternoon and sure, I have a great network of friends in the area and sure, JH is a terrific bf and sure, I'm finally starting work again, but I'm feeling the heavy weight of change and I don't like it one bit. I have no roommates, I have no KR, I have no family. I only have myself and I'm feeling insecure.

I'm in victim mentality mode again and I think it has to do with money. Feeling like it controls me, like I don't have any, like it's making decisions about my life without consulting me. And it makes me ornary. And it makes me irritable. And then I have trouble expressing myself.

Last night, I was acting passive when I was really upset. I think therapy is the right place for me at the moment. I just want a safe haven, a secure and warm area where I can go to cry. Or sleep. Or regain control. Like Grandma's arms...

I may have lots of friends in Seattle, but that doesn't make up for the fact that everyone to whom I can cry has left me for dead. Thrown me under the bus. I just want to feel safe again!