Over 50. That's how many jobs I have applied for in the last month. That's how many times I've filled in my name, my address, my educational history, my professional experience. That's how many times I've received either no response or just plain no.
I'm starting to get dazed by this process. I'm starting to feel hopeless and unmotivated and rejected and worthless. I'm starting to feel like a zombie by day's end: A computer-staring, money-hoarding, good-for-nothing zombie.
And you know what really gets me in this whole process? It's not the endless and mindless routine of applying or writing cover letters or sending in resumes. It's not the long days of nothingness. It's when I apply for a position that gets me really excited, I wait for a few weeks, I follow up, I hold out hope, and I still don't get a response. BUT THEN, during my daily internet career search, I come across the SAME JOB and it's STILL AVAILABLE. Even after 6 weeks sometimes. Don't think I haven't applied twice: I have. What are these people looking for?! I am talented, bright, enthusiastic, smart, witty, hardworking, and positive. I have two degrees, I have moved across the damn country, I have traveled extensively. I am a well-rounded, quality candidate...how am I falling through the cracks?!
I don't understand it.
ARGH!!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
The Lazy Days of Summer
Despite all seemingly negative thoughts about unemployment, it definitely has its perks. For instance, Jason and I always seem to have time to do fun things if not daily, then at least a few times per week. We have become the masters of finding free activities in Seattle due to our limited budgets and I think we've succeeded pretty well in this endeavor. See for yourself:
1. Ten days ago, we walked around Pioneer Square for their monthly Art Walk. Dozens of art studios in downtown Seattle stay open until 9pm to celebrate the opening of new exhibits with wine and hors d'oeuvres. It's splendid! We happened to stumble upon a chalk display as a neutral medium (meaning no one has any more experience in sidewalk chalk than anyone else since it's not offered as a course of study) drawn by the students of the Art Institute in Seattle. We even voted on our favorite.
2. This wasn't free, but it nearly was! My girlfriend Brianna came to visit for a few days and we took her to an amazing concert at the Crocodile Cafe for $13! Parachute and The Script played an incredible show. Really, it was one of the best concerts I've EVER been to. SO GOOD. I didn't get many good pictures, but here is one of The Script's lead singer, Danny O'Donoghue, singing his brains out. The venue was small enough so you didn't feel like you were listening to the music without being able to see the band, the crowd was totally into it (myself included), and the actual tunes were stuff of dreams; the entire show was unspeakably good.
3. Thanks to Jason's parents, we went to the Yankees/Mariner's game at no charge on Thursday night. It was rainy outside, but since we're in Seattle, they've got it covered...literally. Jason invited some friends and the four of us had a grand ole time drinking beer and booing the Yankees 12-1 win over the M's. I don't care much about baseball (plus, I'm a Twins fan myself), but games are always a good time.
4. On Sunday night, we made our way over to Golden Gardens beach in Ballard. It's right on the Puget Sound along with the Shilshole Marina and Beach Club, and various restaurants including Little Coney (my guess is that it's supposed to be a version of a Coney Island eatery on the West Coast) where we got sandwiches, corn dogs, and ice cream. We also got to see the sunset (see below) which was super pretty! Following our recent park theme, we also went over to Discovery Park in Magnolia on Monday night to hike and walk along the beach. I had never been there and neither had Jason, and we found it to be quite delightful for a good workout; I think we walked close to four miles without even realizing it.
5. Yesterday, we drove over to Snoqualmie Falls and on our way, stopped at Triple X Root Beer which is a hole-in-the-wall, grease-gut-inducing fast food restaurant to get burgers and homemade root beer. Imagine our surprise when the cheeseburger came out and it was as big as Jason's head! (Luckily, we only ordered one of those.) This place has been around for years and claims it is one of the last original fast food restaurants, which, by the looks of it, may very well be true. It's a dive, but it was yummy! (I only had a stomach ache for a mere few hours after our lunch.)
6. Then, we continued onward to Snoqualmie Falls which is right before the Cascade Mountain range and Stevens Pass. It's this beautiful 268-foot waterfall that crashes into a perfectly clear pool of water and flows into a river (Snoqualmie River?), I think. It is freaking gorgeous. There's an upscale resort called Salish Lodge and Spa which overlooks the falls and there are multiple hiking trails, one which took us down to the bottom boardwalk of the park where we climbed over the railing and walked right up to the water. Many people were down there; some were swimming, some were sunning, one person was even kayaking up to the base of the waterfall. It was such a fun day and all for free! :)
(The first shot is from the top observation deck, the second is from the bottom lookout point.)
Afterwards, upon driving back to Seattle, we got a call from Jason's cousin and proceeded to spend the rest of the evening on their boat for to socialize, swim, drink a few beers, and catch the sunset. Today, we're doing the same thing!
Cheers to funemployment! :)
1. Ten days ago, we walked around Pioneer Square for their monthly Art Walk. Dozens of art studios in downtown Seattle stay open until 9pm to celebrate the opening of new exhibits with wine and hors d'oeuvres. It's splendid! We happened to stumble upon a chalk display as a neutral medium (meaning no one has any more experience in sidewalk chalk than anyone else since it's not offered as a course of study) drawn by the students of the Art Institute in Seattle. We even voted on our favorite.
2. This wasn't free, but it nearly was! My girlfriend Brianna came to visit for a few days and we took her to an amazing concert at the Crocodile Cafe for $13! Parachute and The Script played an incredible show. Really, it was one of the best concerts I've EVER been to. SO GOOD. I didn't get many good pictures, but here is one of The Script's lead singer, Danny O'Donoghue, singing his brains out. The venue was small enough so you didn't feel like you were listening to the music without being able to see the band, the crowd was totally into it (myself included), and the actual tunes were stuff of dreams; the entire show was unspeakably good.
3. Thanks to Jason's parents, we went to the Yankees/Mariner's game at no charge on Thursday night. It was rainy outside, but since we're in Seattle, they've got it covered...literally. Jason invited some friends and the four of us had a grand ole time drinking beer and booing the Yankees 12-1 win over the M's. I don't care much about baseball (plus, I'm a Twins fan myself), but games are always a good time.
4. On Sunday night, we made our way over to Golden Gardens beach in Ballard. It's right on the Puget Sound along with the Shilshole Marina and Beach Club, and various restaurants including Little Coney (my guess is that it's supposed to be a version of a Coney Island eatery on the West Coast) where we got sandwiches, corn dogs, and ice cream. We also got to see the sunset (see below) which was super pretty! Following our recent park theme, we also went over to Discovery Park in Magnolia on Monday night to hike and walk along the beach. I had never been there and neither had Jason, and we found it to be quite delightful for a good workout; I think we walked close to four miles without even realizing it.
5. Yesterday, we drove over to Snoqualmie Falls and on our way, stopped at Triple X Root Beer which is a hole-in-the-wall, grease-gut-inducing fast food restaurant to get burgers and homemade root beer. Imagine our surprise when the cheeseburger came out and it was as big as Jason's head! (Luckily, we only ordered one of those.) This place has been around for years and claims it is one of the last original fast food restaurants, which, by the looks of it, may very well be true. It's a dive, but it was yummy! (I only had a stomach ache for a mere few hours after our lunch.)
6. Then, we continued onward to Snoqualmie Falls which is right before the Cascade Mountain range and Stevens Pass. It's this beautiful 268-foot waterfall that crashes into a perfectly clear pool of water and flows into a river (Snoqualmie River?), I think. It is freaking gorgeous. There's an upscale resort called Salish Lodge and Spa which overlooks the falls and there are multiple hiking trails, one which took us down to the bottom boardwalk of the park where we climbed over the railing and walked right up to the water. Many people were down there; some were swimming, some were sunning, one person was even kayaking up to the base of the waterfall. It was such a fun day and all for free! :)
(The first shot is from the top observation deck, the second is from the bottom lookout point.)
Afterwards, upon driving back to Seattle, we got a call from Jason's cousin and proceeded to spend the rest of the evening on their boat for to socialize, swim, drink a few beers, and catch the sunset. Today, we're doing the same thing!
Cheers to funemployment! :)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Extremes
It has just become clear to me that I function on extremes most of the time. For example: I go through long periods of no book reading, and then, suddenly, out of nowhere, I have this urge to read - any and all books I can get my hands on. And then I have to read all day and all night just to quench this undeniably strong thirst to read and understand and KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. It's quite ridiculous, really. (Perhaps some of my drama comes from the fact that I just finished reading the third book in the Twilight series.)
Or another example is my cleanliness. As most of you know, I'm wickedly clean. Borderline obsessive-compulsive with my straight lines and spotless surfaces. But every once and a while (during times that virtually no one has seen...) I am out of control with my mess - clothes everywhere, papers scattered, drawers open, bed unmade. Sometimes I can be disgustingly dirty, too, you know.
And right now, I find I'm dealing with the worst extreme of them all: My hysteric craziness versus my bleary-eyed laziness. I have nothing to do these days but all the things I want to do! (This may seem weird, but hear me out.) I have (literally) lists upon lists (I'm sure none of you doubt this) of stuff I wanna get done. I have piles and piles of papers that are just DYING to be sorted. I have binders and binders of old materials that are begging to be burned! I have emails abound that are waiting to be answered. And what do I do? I sit here on facebook and waste my life away. I blog, I primp, I talk on the phone, and I read the next Twilight book (if I can get my hands on that sucker). I DO NOT workout. I DO NOT cross items off my (near eternal) lists. I DO NOT get work done that has been waiting for me since high school ended.
It's almost as if I like not finishing these blasted lists. Do I?
Oh man. I'm super masochistic. I always have something to do because I always leave something to do. It's a sick and vicious cycle. Where is my therapist when I need her the most?
Or another example is my cleanliness. As most of you know, I'm wickedly clean. Borderline obsessive-compulsive with my straight lines and spotless surfaces. But every once and a while (during times that virtually no one has seen...) I am out of control with my mess - clothes everywhere, papers scattered, drawers open, bed unmade. Sometimes I can be disgustingly dirty, too, you know.
And right now, I find I'm dealing with the worst extreme of them all: My hysteric craziness versus my bleary-eyed laziness. I have nothing to do these days but all the things I want to do! (This may seem weird, but hear me out.) I have (literally) lists upon lists (I'm sure none of you doubt this) of stuff I wanna get done. I have piles and piles of papers that are just DYING to be sorted. I have binders and binders of old materials that are begging to be burned! I have emails abound that are waiting to be answered. And what do I do? I sit here on facebook and waste my life away. I blog, I primp, I talk on the phone, and I read the next Twilight book (if I can get my hands on that sucker). I DO NOT workout. I DO NOT cross items off my (near eternal) lists. I DO NOT get work done that has been waiting for me since high school ended.
It's almost as if I like not finishing these blasted lists. Do I?
Oh man. I'm super masochistic. I always have something to do because I always leave something to do. It's a sick and vicious cycle. Where is my therapist when I need her the most?
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Flowers!
Since I'm home all the time these days, I bought myself some flowers at the market last night:
Aren't they pretty? The lilies smell so good! It's like a little spot of beauty in my bland apartment. (Okay, my apartment is not BLAND exactly...I have yellow and blue walls...but when I'm in this kitchen for 16 hours per day working on the internet, it's nice to have the fragrance of fresh flowers surrounding me...)
As far as the job search goes: Today, it doesn't. I've gotta take a break from the computer every few days, so Jason and I (oh, screw the "JH," I'm sick of it) are going to a free museum this afternoon. Then, we're hitting up the Pioneer Square Art Walk before going to "Superbad" (outdoor movie) at the Red Hook Brewery tonight.
In other news, I am getting so furry it's really quite irritating. I just told Jason a few days ago that the first thing I'm going to do when I get a job is immediately call to make appointments for a haircut, a brow wax, and a facial. My personal hygiene has really taken a unnecessary hit. (So I guess, at some point, I'll have to work to live, too, Andra. Otherwise, I'll be hairy forever!)
Cheers to August!
Aren't they pretty? The lilies smell so good! It's like a little spot of beauty in my bland apartment. (Okay, my apartment is not BLAND exactly...I have yellow and blue walls...but when I'm in this kitchen for 16 hours per day working on the internet, it's nice to have the fragrance of fresh flowers surrounding me...)
As far as the job search goes: Today, it doesn't. I've gotta take a break from the computer every few days, so Jason and I (oh, screw the "JH," I'm sick of it) are going to a free museum this afternoon. Then, we're hitting up the Pioneer Square Art Walk before going to "Superbad" (outdoor movie) at the Red Hook Brewery tonight.
In other news, I am getting so furry it's really quite irritating. I just told Jason a few days ago that the first thing I'm going to do when I get a job is immediately call to make appointments for a haircut, a brow wax, and a facial. My personal hygiene has really taken a unnecessary hit. (So I guess, at some point, I'll have to work to live, too, Andra. Otherwise, I'll be hairy forever!)
Cheers to August!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
A Conundrum
Unemployment is an interesting thing. People who are employed seem to think that being unemployed is a real treat - who wouldn't want a day in the sun with a book and a margarita? Meanwhile, people who are unemployed yearn for the salary and regular schedule that come with having a job. Both are wholly overrated if you ask me. As an non-working person, I have all the time in the world to shop and eat and lounge and buy, but no money with which to do it. In addition, my motivation is waning. You can bet that I was sure I'd be in the best shape of my life with all this free time I have, but it's hard to get up and run when you could sleep until 10am instead. All I have waiting for me is an entire day of job searching on the internet!
I don't mean to sound like I'm jaded. I'm not. But I've certainly had A LOT of time to think about my life, my prospects, my desires. And I think that having a daily purpose is a strong human need. We NEED to feel like we fill a niche in this world, we NEED to know we are making a difference, we NEED to believe we are promoting our values. We NEED to have goals and plans and connections and conversations. It all leads to satisfaction. It all gives meaning to our existence.
SO, if I can preach for just one second: Be happy that you have a job. Even if you wish you were working elsewhere, at least you have a purpose. But perhaps you could try to find something you LOVE. It really makes life worth it.
I don't mean to sound like I'm jaded. I'm not. But I've certainly had A LOT of time to think about my life, my prospects, my desires. And I think that having a daily purpose is a strong human need. We NEED to feel like we fill a niche in this world, we NEED to know we are making a difference, we NEED to believe we are promoting our values. We NEED to have goals and plans and connections and conversations. It all leads to satisfaction. It all gives meaning to our existence.
SO, if I can preach for just one second: Be happy that you have a job. Even if you wish you were working elsewhere, at least you have a purpose. But perhaps you could try to find something you LOVE. It really makes life worth it.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Funemployment
Most times, I love my life. And sometimes, I wish I had another one. Though it has been a really great summer, filled with concerts, friends, romance, sunshine, boating, and delicious food, I'm about ready to get a job. I'm ready for a purpose to my days. But here's the thing: I want something to which I can really devote myself. I want to LOVE my job, I want to be excited to go to work in the morning, I want to make more friends in Seattle. I want to be passionate about my position in life. Not to mention, I want money. This bullshit of not being able to buy what I want is getting PRETTY old. Might I add that I'm definitely due for a closet overhaul. Some of those clothes have been with me since the 8th grade.
I'm working on it. I'm applying like crazy, I'm getting my life "in order" (whatever that means), and I'm trying to enjoy my time off because I know I will probably look back on this fondly. But hopefully, in a few months, I'll be busier and more excited to look forward instead of back.
I'm working on it. I'm applying like crazy, I'm getting my life "in order" (whatever that means), and I'm trying to enjoy my time off because I know I will probably look back on this fondly. But hopefully, in a few months, I'll be busier and more excited to look forward instead of back.
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