Friday, March 28, 2008

Southern Living's Not for Me

Today, I've discovered that I am definitely not cut out to live in the South. Balmy weather (which, admittedly, I love right now, but would hate all year long), fast and fried food (can I please get a salad WITHOUT iceberg lettuce?), slow moving (GO FASTER, I'm in a hurry), slow talking (spit it out, j-j-junior), and just a general dirtyness are all qualifications of this area of Birmingham.

In contrast, last night, I spent the evening at the top of the Vulcan Tower which is this huge statue/tower on the top of a bluff that overlooks the entire city of Birmingham. It was well worth the $3.30 I paid to watch the sun set from a few thousand feet about sea level. Romantic, inspiring, and windy are a few words that come to mind when I think about last night.

And, of course, in true Southern fashion, I found myself some good ole BBQ from a little place just a few minutes from my hotel. The thing is...it wasn't very good. Too much worchester sauce in the BBQ (I'm developing a sensitive palate as you can see) and the beef I ordered wasn't shredded. Bummer. The salad (iceberg lettuce strikes again) was okay and the beans were definitely the best part of the meal. Well, that and my Chocolate Mint Balance Bar. I'm so sick of eating out.

Which brings me to my last point: I get to go home tonight! After four months of a continuously strenuous cycle (going home for a week, then traveling for three weeks...going home for a week, then traveling for three weeks...), I'm back in Seattle after only one week on the road. Hallelujah! Here I come!

Finally, besides being in low spirits because I am at the grossest, dirtiest, filthiest, grungiest, smelliest, moldiest, balmiest hotel EVER right now, I am feeling good because...you guessed it...

MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 25 DAYS!!!!!!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Spitting Images

So, I was walking in Capitol Hill this afternoon and this woman pretended to spit on me. She hocked a fake lugee (sp?) and everything. It was weird and I felt oddly dirty afterwards.

Right now, I'm having pretty much the best day of my life. I'm sprawled out on the couch, covered in a warm blanket, watching college basketball. God, I love this time of the year. The excitement and anticipation that comes with March Madness and the NCAA Tournament is unparalleled by any other event. There has been some serious upsets this year, but that's part of the game, I guess. I have a love/hate relationship with said upsets because they are exciting to see, but difficult to pick! My brackets are dismal this year due to previously-mentioned underdog winnings.

I'm going to finish having my best day ever.

Thank you, universe!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

The Break of All Breaks...and a Nashville Story

Yes, I'm just sitting here, in my living room, enjoying the NCAA Tournament and painting my nails. I love my life.

Here's a post from last week that I had saved as a draft:

March 11, 2008: Today, I'm in the nation's country music capital...Nashville! I was also here this past weekend with coworkers, which proved to be an excellent use of my precious weekend. We all stayed at the Sheraton downtown, which was totally in walking distance of everything. Unfortunately, it snowed hardcore (for Nashville, anyways) on Friday night, so some of my colleagues didn't get in until late. We bar-hopped a bit in the snow and froze our butts off for the most part. Good times.

Saturday afternoon we had fun walking Broadway and stepping into random bars to listen to people sing their hearts out. Some of these people are amazing! It is such a cool, unique culture down here -- unlike anything I've experienced before. A moderately large city with a super small town feel. And everyone is so nice!

While hanging out on Saturday, I happened to buy a western belt with a huge and awesome western belt buckle (which I wore with jeans and a white collared shirt tied up to show about 6 inches of my belly) and I debuted my new country "look" when we went out line-dancing and karaoking on Saturday night. It was so fun!

Before we went out, I made a preposition that whoever scored a cowboy hat and brought it back to the hotel without paying for it would be the winner. I didn't mean anything by it (I really didn't think anyone would go for it), but I found that as we bar-hopped, I kept looking for that victim (aka - a lonely cowboy of sorts) to "steal" his hat. Finally, we went to a karaoke bar in Printer's Alley and I spotted my guy...so, I went up to him and began chatting. He was so sweet and our interaction was so innocent; he was at the bar for his bachelor party with all of his friends and some family members ("This is my dad, Pete," spoken in a singsong Georgian accent). He, of course, was wearing the coveted cowboy hat, and was telling me that he had all of these tasks to do that night, none of which he thought he'd accomplish. He was recounting about how he was supposed to get a girl's panties among other things, and I saw in this statement an opportunity. Yes, folks, I saw an opportunity to negotiate one thing I wanted for one thing he wanted. SO, (you guessed it) I told him that I would give him my panties in exchange for his cowboy hat. And though shocked, he agreed to it after a few minutes of convincing ("Really, you will really do that? Are you sure? Are you shitting me? Really? I luuuve you!") and a bit more explanation ("Well, this IS my friend's hat, but I don't THINK he'll mind if I trade it..."). So, in a very gentleman-like manner (he was a chivalrous bachelor, if nothing else), he escorted me to the men's restroom (the line was too long for the women's) and I removed my girl-under-things to prepare for the exchange. In the process, I was so proud of myself (my goal of the year is to work on my negotiation skills...did I mention I also got free breakfast and nightly hors d'oeuvres for our entire group at the Sheraton?) and upon exiting the bathroom, I may have been missing my panties, but I had a smile on that practically blinded anyone who looked at me. Quickly, quietly, the trade was made and I had myself my very own black and beautiful cowboy hat! I (almost) won!

So, the night dragged on (not really, it was quite fun, actually) and it was peppered with Bachelor Boy's cowboy-hat-owning friend who really, really wanted his prized possession back.

"Sorry," I said, "but your friend made a deal fair and square. Take it up with him. This hat is mine now."

He tried to barter for a Cubs baseball cap. He tried to buy it back from me (hmmm, I could have made a pretty penny...), but the meaning of that hat and what I went through to get that hat was worth much more than any amount of money.

Total cover charges for Nashville bars: $3.00
Total cost of drinks during night out in Nashville: $20.00
Trading a pair of panties for a real, live Nashville cowboy hat: PRICELESS

...Kelly

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Providence, Rhode Island is a dream come true.

What a quaint little city...it's so lovely here! I'm at a place called the Johnson & Wales Inn - it's a hotel owned by the school (Johnson & Wales) where they "employ" students & interns. Also, to my pleasant surprise, they have a kick-ass restaurant made so by the fact that culinary arts students are scheming up and preparing wonderful dishes. Listen to the dinner I had last night:

1) Baby spinach salad with French brie, cherry tomatoes, sliced & toasted almonds tossed in a raspberry vinagrette along with 2 different kinds of warm & wonderful bread with whipped butter

2) Braised lamb loin with wild mushroom risotto & endive salad accompanied by a glass of pinot noir

3) Mocha creme brulee with whipped cream & espresso bean crumbles

It was more pleasing to the palate than words can describe.

It's weird the places I get to see and the people I get to experience and the food I get to taste...I feel really lucky when nights like last pop up amongst the chaos of traveling every day. I certainly deserved it after the morning/afternoon I had yesterday! What a mini-nightmare! No working overhead, rude hotel staff, annoying and demanding participants...I definitely needed the bath I took in my whirlpool hotel tub and the time I took to read the rest of my book. Last night was surely relaxing, as it needed to be.

In other news, I think I'm becoming more of a snob. Maybe a traveling snob of sorts? I am impatient when I don't get exactly what I want, I'm more discerning then ever before, I am borderline rude when people don't understand me. I have specific needs, people! I expect them to be met because I am the one traveling all the time - not you, hear me? I go from city to city every damn day and the least you could do (instead of being completely and utterly incompetent) is to help a girl out! Seriously...you wouldn't believe the number of times I run into hotel staff that are lazy and impolite and just plain useless. You see? I'm not becoming a snob, I AM one.

Well, I'm gonna go have some b-fast (code word...well, not really...for breakfast) in the restaurant...

Ciao, friends and family!

Monday, March 3, 2008

Full in Manchester, New Hampshire

I just had a free and wonderful lunch (isn't free lunch usually wonderful?) at SERESC (it stands for something that I don't care to write at the moment) in Bedford, New Hampshire. I'm back on the road and typing on a laptop that SERESC provided to me at no charge. I love this! They also do all of my AV set-up...basically, I just sit here and stare at the wall for the whole day. Not really, I actually worked out, bought some flipflops at Target...you know, things that you do on a regular day at the office, right? :)

Anyhow, I'm back to blogging as well. I'm sure my loyal (and not-so-loyal) followers don't even check this website anymore, but I'm okay with that. Basically, I just like to see my ridiculous thoughts on paper (er...the computer screen, rather) and it's a nice log of my travels. Well...of some of my travels. My computer is back to normal, but I hate bringing it on the road with me. It's so heavy and such a hassle in the airport. I'm all about being low maintenance on the road.

Happy March!