Yes We Can?

There can be a fine line between hopefulness and hopelessness. In terms of spelling, it's a mere four letter difference. In terms of unemployment, the distance between these two emotions is still quite small. In fact, sometimes it's virtually undetectable. Only if you understand each of your minute, complex, indescribable feelings does it even begin to be possible to calculate the distinction between hope and despair. The slightest change in event or sleep or email or television show can turn what used to be undeniable HOPE into dusty, ashy HOPELESSNESS in just seconds.

This does not help my emotional torment and restlessness ONE BIT.

Boot Envy

I have a disease. I can't stop looking at boots. It's a real sickness.

Oh pretty please, can I invite new boots into my life?

Life is a Journey...REALLY?

Seattle is covered in an ethereal glow today. Almost like it is somehow dripping in a honey-colored, fog-like glimmer. With my sunglasses on, it looks as if it has a pinkish hue. Perhaps I'm seeing the world through rose-colored glasses? Perhaps my "luck" has changed? Perhaps I've turned a corner in my situation?

I also found 16 cents on the road today during my walk. While 16 cents doesn't make up for the $45 that was stolen, I see this as a sign that my Midas qualities are back. Before long, everything I do will turn into something wonderful. Like old times.

I'm sure there are lessons abound during this period of my life, but I can't deny that a part of me (or MANY parts of me) are struggling and sad and angry and uncontrollable. I suppose it's just a part of the process and I'm learning to trust that process however weird and disjointed and impractical and misleading it may seem. So often, I see life as a destination (I know, I know, it's supposed to be a JOURNEY) and most of my issues stem from my rigid views on "getting things done" and "planning for the future" when really, I should be (I WANT to be) enjoying the moment. Ah, well. We all have room for improvement, right? And if this stage in my life has taught me ANYTHING, it has definitely taught me that I have a lot of growing to do.

The more I know, the more I don't know, right? The more I do, the more I have to do. The more I see, the more I want to see. The trick is being at peace with it all...

Bad Luck.

Well, tonight's trampoline aerobics class ("AIRobics") at Sky High Sports in Bellevue was overshadowed by the realization that someone stole two credit cards and $45 cash from my wallet. The worst part? I can't figure out when. That is the most frustrating thing about it.

ARGH!!!!! I'm so mad at the universe right now.