I used to think I was good at maintaining friendships, but now I'm not so sure. I'm employed and I'm exhausted EVERY SINGLE DAY, which leaves no time for myself OR my friends. It's not a pretty sight, folks. Sleepy feelings take over around 6pm and bedtime is around 9 or 10pm. I've got 8 hours of work per day and, suddenly, I've lost all 24 hours. How does this happen? Let me dissect the ways in which I have failed you:
1) Email. After staring at a computer screen for literally 90% of the workday (all of the time spent actually working), I can't bare to spend time answering emails or reading blogs at night. Hence, this leaves me no time to feel electronically connected to friends and family afar. (My eyes simply cannot focus on nearby items for longer than 7 hours per day, apparently.)
2) Phone. Personal decompression time is essential after long hours of dealing with people and families who have children with autism (read: screaming kids in the lobby is a regular occurrence). Alas, sometimes so-called "decompression time" turns into a "night of decompression" or multiple "decompression weekends." During these moments (or evenings or days), my last concern is calling a friend to catch up. I need time to process my week and I have little to no patience for telephone conversations...almost as much as I have little to no desire to stuff hot chili peppers in my underwear.
3) Physical togetherness. Again, this is about my time alone. Though I must admit, I generally prefer spending time WITH people as opposed to emailing or phoning them, but I'm only just starting to logistically figure out how to make enough time for myself while seeing friends and getting a few hours in with boyfriend and maintaining plenty of exercise and sleep.
I suppose I'm a bit hard on myself. I just need to relax and absorb the loveliness and security and deliciousness of (finally!) having a job!
But sometimes I wonder how one manages to make it all work? (Note to self: If I feel this way now, don't have kids!)
1 comment:
The good news is that this feeling won't last forever. Just think of it like the first months of BER, and know that your friends both understand how it feels to start something new and eagerly await the coming months when you've got it all down and can come play on select evenings and weekends. Don't stretch yourself to thin in the meantime!
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