Adjustments and Stuff.

This word has been on my mind a lot lately. In a lot of different forms.

The first form is in my daily life.

Let me explain.

I've done this job for almost two years. I've adjusted. Or have I? Every day is an adjustment, another notch on the flexibility belt, another city, another colleague, and I'm getting none the wiser. Well, actually, I AM getting wiser. It's just, compared to last year, this year is testing me. When I took this job, I was elated. I was more than elated, I was "over the moon" (I'm like a celebrity who just had a baby) and it seemed that nothing would stop me. Well, besides the obvious (JH), I HAVE been stopped a little bit. Or a lot! And it's by my own twisted thoughts. Thus, my mission now is to adjust to those new feelings, those new emotions that rumble inside of me every time I get impatient or bored, or each moment I feel like I should be doing something else with my life. I get wrapped up in myself and I can't seem to breathe in there. Every once and a while, I need to let a little air get into my brain. And I need to remember that feelings go away - they're fleeting - and adjustments to new emotions are natural.

The second form is in the topic of wedded bliss.

I think every person I know is getting married. Not really, but I'm definitely in that period of my life when people from high school, middle school, college, grad school, summer camp, winter camp, horseback riding camp, underwater basketweaving camp, and everyone else in between are getting married and experiencing something I can't relate to. The part about me not relating is fine - I'm finally remembering that little piece of me that loves weddings and all things associated with such events after years of stomping my feet and swearing off marriage for myself - but what I am pondering is the idea of adjustment during this HUGE life event.

For most, getting married is arguably the biggest decision people will make in their lives. It influences many, many people including family members and friends, but do we ever stop to really think about the impact these unions make? I mean, SERIOUSLY! I really starting thinking about this after something came to me: By getting married, we are asking our families to love someone else, to care for them as they care for us, to include them in on virtually everything for the rest of our existances. This is an enormous responsibility. We are hoping for acceptance of our spouses and not only are we, ourselves, pledging a lifetime commitment, we are also asking that our families commit to our relationships as well. Wow. That's a lot to ask. And somehow, we don't really prepare ourselves for such things. I mean, I'm of the mentality that everything needs preparation, but I especially think that weddings and marriages of people and families require proper understanding before undertaking. (It was a little play on words there, people.)

The third form is in this statement:

"I want it, but I'm scared."

Raise your hand if you have ever thought this or currently think it right now.

Hmm. All of you. That's what I thought.

This is dominating my life right now. Think about it and get back to me.