Time After Time

I can't believe my birthday is in 9 days!!

On a separate, but related note, I can't believe it's April. I write the date almost every day at work and it still floors me every time the month changes. You would think that writing it each day would make the month seem more full, more lasting...but it doesn't. I'm still writing 3 for March and it's clearly past that. Hell, I'm still writing 2004 and it's 2011.

In any case, I'm enjoying the build-up to my birthday, just like I do annually. The beginning of April is just about the most exciting time of year for me: Flowers are blooming everywhere, people are friendlier and more active (and more attractive!), spring begins to emerge and, if I'm lucky, the smells of summer starts to bleed through on select days, making me extra hopeful for an early start to the season. I can't quite explain the feeling I get right before my big day! It's like Christmas all for me! I can't help but wake up early with anticipation and I literally bound through the day with a big smile and a happy attitude and a renewed zest for my life!

This year, in particular, feels like a new start for me. Right now, I feel like I'm not only saying goodbye to 27, but I'm also bidding adieu to my binding fears and my stubborn mindsets and my useless habits and my unhelpful ways. This is a whole new beginning for me. I'm getting married this year. I'm getting married this year! And even though wedding planning may not ring the bell of truth for most...for me, it feels very spiritual in nature. Somehow, I'm being pulled to follow my instincts (some of which I didn't even know I had) and let go and allow for life to ebb and flow as it will. Expectations must be slashed, inhibitions (arguing for what I want, having a no-nonsense attitude) must be abolished, and love somehow arises from the middle of it all. Jason and I are stronger than ever (sorry for the cliche, but it's true!) and I think we can more aptly handle each other during times of stress, frustration, and anger. Planning a wedding definitely prepares for the marriage ahead!

Overall, I feel insanely lucky to be alive, to be a part of an incredible family, to have super supportive friends, and to be marrying a person who challenges my brain, warms my heart, allows me space to grow, and keeps me the most honest version of myself. And for all of this, I feel overwhelmingly grateful!

Happy Birthday to Me!